Snakes, Markers, and a Little Diarrhea

Hate is a dirty word in our house.  Amelia is not allowed to use it and neither am I.  But I have to admit I busted it out yesterday morning.  We were just coming home from preschool and as I opened the door to step out of the car, I saw a snake slither by.  I jumped back in and locked the doors...you know, just in case the snake could crawl up the side of the Saturn and unlock the door.  I screamed, "Oh my gosh, Amelia, I HATE snakes."  Both kids started to freak out as soon as they realized we were prisoners in our vehicle.  There was absolutely no way I was getting out of that car.  I decided I would back up the drive way and park at the top.  As I was leaving, I could see down the hill and realized I had a perfect shot at that snake.  I told the kids to hold on and proceeded to drive right over it....or so I thought.  I began to back up again and could see my job was not finished.  I backed up and down my drive, over and over that snake at least 20 times, both kids in tears.  After all movement had ceased, I sat in the car and tried my best to explain to Amelia what happened.  It went something like this.  "Amelia, Mommy loves all animals!  We share this Earth with so many creatures and we should be nice to all of them.  But sometimes parents have to protect their children.  Do you understand?"  Amelia said, "Yes, you HATE snakes!"  No arguments, here!  Prepare yourself for a picture of the largest, meanest snake you have ever seen.....

I know, right?  ENORMOUS!!!!  Ok, maybe not, but it did manage to give me the heebie jeebies the rest of the day.  It was so bad, I wouldn't even take the kids out to play that afternoon.  You could see that stupid thing through my office door and I couldn't stand it.  Amelia asked me if she could "color" the door with markers so we wouldn't be able to see the snake in the drive anymore. Sounded like a great idea to me......

....if the markers would have stayed only on the door.

Needless to say, it was an eventful day.  As the afternoon progressed into evening, Maddox became a tiny bit cranky.  I changed his diaper and his little bottom seemed red so I decided to let him run around naked and "air out."  Before I knew it, we had a situation CODE BROWN in the floor.....Twice.   Just another day in the Ulmer's house!