Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Well...there is one good thing about Kindergarten

I haven't blogged in so long for many reasons.  Both the kids and I have gotten sick,  we've all been so busy, and the "Kindergatern funk" has not left me yet.  I can't get used to this schedule,  I hate my quiet house, and frankly I miss Amelia.  Oh, did I mention the car line at school.  It stinks.  Poor Maddox sits in the hot car for 1 hour waiting on sis.  I know we'll get through it and honestly, it is getting easier everyday.  Thankfully, one good thing has come out of all this...my time with little man!  Boy, is he starting to talk.   I don't know if it is because the house is quiet and I can actually hear him or if it because he couldn't get a word in with Amelia here.  Whatever the reason, it's awesome.  He yells, "Mama" all day long followed by long searches through the house for "Sis."  He tells me to "Stop" about a hundred times a day (wonder where he has heard that) and says "Yuck" at every meal.  My very favorite thing is to see how excited Maddox gets when Amelia comes home from school.





I really hope they always miss each other this much.  It's just so darn sweet!!  Oh and Amelia just keeps moving on up in gymnastics.  Somewhere between Kindergarten, birthday parties, and Japanese class, she managed to get her handstand forward roll.  Go, Millie, Go!!


Monday, August 8, 2011

The First of Many Goodbyes

If I told you how many times I have sat down to write this, you wouldn't believe me.  It seems like I close my computer as quickly as I open it.  I know every mother feels this way and I know it's only Kindergarten but I just can't seem to get my emotions in check.  It's so strange because on one hand, I'm excited for Amelia to begin this new journey; she is more than ready...but on the other hand, I feel like I'm saying goodbye to a chapter of our lives.  The one where Amelia is with me every second of everyday... the one where we can stay in our pajamas all day long and play in forts...the one where we can go for ice cream at noon on a Tuesday. It's going to be an adjustment, that's for sure.  Not only for me, but Maddox too.  So back to my plan...to write a letter to Amelia in an effort to sum up what the last 5 years have meant to me.

My sweetest girl,
There are just 3 short days until you start Kindergarten!  I can't believe this day is finally here.  You are so excited and believe me, that makes this all a little easier on Mom.  We visited your school and had the chance to meet your teacher.  You fell in love instantly.  And you really are ready.  You are so smart and so social that I think making new friends will come so easily to you.  This is not the part that makes Mommy so sad.  It's the things that I'm going to miss doing with you everyday that cause me to cry at the drop of a hat.  I am definitely going to miss lazy rainy days, taking you to ballet and gymnastics, play doh parties, all day zoo making with your stuffed animals, and board games days.  But more than all of this, I'm simply going to miss spending every second with you.  I can't imagine not having to look for your banky at least 5 times a day.  I can't imagine rounding the corner from the laundry to the living room and not bumping right in to you.  I can't imagine not making you lunch and not having our afternoon snuggle together.  I can't imagine not seeing you and Maddox create cities made of blocks that he eventually knocks down.  And the thought of not hearing "Mom, I love you" all throughout the day breaks my heart. 

I vowed when I became a stay at home mom that I was really going to stay at home and be present. I wanted to teach you, guide you and do things with you. I really think we accomplished that!  This school thing will be so easy for you because you have so much going for you.  You are kind and generous and everywhere we go, people are drawn to you.  You are funny and energetic and so loving.  I'm not worried about you starting this adventure one bit.  In fact, I'm so proud of who you have become that I can't see straight.
 
There is nothing that I can write or no words that I can say to ever help you understand how much I love you.  All I know is that every night, when I put my head on my pillow, I thank God for trusting me to raise such a precious child.  I can only hope that someday you will be blessed with a child that brings as much joy and light into your life as you have brought into mine. 

I love this quote and it pretty much sums it all up.  "Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."  So walk, Amelia, walk.  Just be careful out there, because you will always have my heart. 



Mom

Friday, August 5, 2011

Amelia and her Monologues

I have always said that Amelia doesn't speak in sentences, she speaks in paragraphs.  Lately, she has been giving these monologues that I don't ever want to forget.   Sometimes, I even refer to them as lectures because all you can do is listen.  She leaves you no room to comment, ask questions, or laugh. 

Amelia has been wanting us to paint a mural on her wall.  I have been pushing for sea creatures while Amelia is begging for dinosaurs.....

  "Mom, I'm sorry that you have a daughter obsessed with dinosaurs.  I don't know why no one likes dinosaurs anymore.  I'm not asking for alot, just small dinosaurs on the wall with a big T Rex above my bed.  I know it hurts your feelings that I don't want sea creatures but I'm just a girl who loves dinosaurs."

Amelia was having a particularly cranky afternoon yesterday.  After a brief discussion on attitude adjustments, this lecture followed....

"Mom, I know that I am cranky.  It is probably because you don't make me take a nap anymore.  I try to change my attitude but I don't know how.  Sometimes, I just feel like crying.  I'm sorry if that gives you a headache but now I can't stop crying.  And now Maddox is crying and it is all my fault.  Can you tell me how to change my attitude now?"

I understand that just reading this doesn't do these speeches justice.  But I just need enough to trigger my memory.  For then, I am sure I will remember the tone of her voice, her hands on her hips, those huge blue eyes looking up at me and that sweet little face meaning every word she is saying.  I am going to miss these monologues. 6 more days until Kindergarten....I may not make it through this.