Our little graduate

I couldn't sleep last night.  To be honest, I'm not sure if it was because my allergies were driving me crazy or if  I was tossing and turning because Amelia was preparing to graduate from preschool.  I feel certain it was the latter because,  I mean, when you are 4, preschool graduation is huge.  I asked Amelia if she knew what it meant and she said ,"its where you sing songs and eat cake."  She's kinda correct.  They did sing and we did eat cake...But it is also a time when Moms sit staring at their child in the front of the room, trying to figure out where the time has gone. 

She was so cute up there in her little white cap, singing those songs.  I caught myself watching her with a permanent smile on my face.  Then my mind quickly went back to when I brought her home from the hospital.  Then I started thinking about all of her firsts...her first tooth, her first step, her first word.  Seriously, how did this happen so quickly?  I thought I was prepared.  People had told me when I was pregnant to document everything; to take pictures, keep journals, video frequently.  I just want to scream, "I did all that and it didn't help!"  As I sat there watching her, I was so proud...not just because she was singing with all her heart but proud that she has, in her 4 short years, become such a sweet, caring little girl.  Just as I started to get emotional, one of the songs called for whining like a baby and I was forced back to reality.

After the songs, each girl stepped up to tell the room what she wanted to be when she grows up.  The answers were mostly veterenarians, dentists and princesses.  Amelia took the stage and when Miss Lisa asked her the question, she responded, " I want to be a dog owner."   That's all it took for me.  She will one day be the proud owner of a dog and I can then say I had a hand in making her dreams (and profession) come true.  She received her diploma, took some pictures, and had cake and ice cream.

Its simple really. I love this girl....with everything I have.  She brings such light in our lives and I can't remember a time when she wasn't with us.  She makes everything we do a little more fun, a little more exciting, and a little more perfect.  Congratulations, my sweet Rose, you did it and you did it well.





Mothers can take a personal day, right?

I had Amelia 4 and half years ago and since that day, I have not stopped. There will be no pictures in this entry for I am somewhat embarrassed about what I am going to admit. It happened last Saturday. We got up around 6:00 am, thanks to Maddox. Breakfast, playing and then cleaning. We were preparing for a play date at our house when the phone rang. "Hello...okay...sure....no problem...sounds good then..we will just get together tomorrow." As soon I said those words I knew exactly what I was going to do. I was taking a personal day. I told noone. I just walked upstairs and got in the bed. I slept through lunch and naptime for the kids and loved every minute of it. I heard the kids playing, fighting, and sometimes crying but Drew seemed to have it under control....So...I stayed in bed. No shower, no lunch, no responsibilty. Everything seemed so perfect that I thought Drew could easily manage dinner and bath time so I closed the door and back in bed I went. I heard through the baby moniters that the kids were asleep so I felt completely content staying put. What a day! It wasn't a day out with the girls or a spa day or a shopping spree but it was my day. I didn't do anything spectacular...I watched somewhere around 10 episodes of King of Queens, caught up on Oprah's farewell season and even played a little solitaire. No one called me Mama, or asked me to kill a spider, or fill a sippy cup full of juice. I deserved that day and I'm so glad I took it. Drew was quiet on Sunday and I kinda thought he was mad at me but I later found out he was simply exhausted. He's watched the kids before, many times, but never without me preparing everything for him. I didn't thaw anything out for dinner or lay pjs out for the kids. I didn't tell him where Maddox's medicine was or where to find Amelia's blanket. The laundry hadn't been done and the dishes were not washed. Sunday night, he admitted that he was completely surprised how exhausting it was. So two things came out of my personal day...a little relaxation for mama and a little realization for daddy!! I have already decided in another 4 years, I will be taking another one!!

Mother's Day

Mother's Day has been especially nice the past 5 years, not only because I have had children to celebrate with, but I get an extra hour or so of sleep that I feel sure I have earned through the year. We had such a beautiful weekend. Saturday morning, we all headed downtown to the art festival. The kids had a blast. I would love to say that I took a thousand pictures but.....between a huge stroller and two kids on the loose, it was impossible. The kids LOVED the petting zoo and although Amelia was slightly hesitant, Maddox nearly managed to crawl through the fence and feed the goats. He was muddy and wet and loved every second of it. Amelia begged us to ride the ponies and of course, we let her. I never imagined in a million years that Maddox would want to as well. Oh, but he did...and twice. He cried and cried when he had to get off the horse. I'm embarrassed to admit he was so mad when he had to dismount that he even hit me on the arm. Four pony rides later, we headed home for Derby activities. We decorated hats and had our own little Derby pool that Amelia managed to win. Eleven dollars is alot of money for a 4 year old. (BTW, she spent every last drop of it today on a new babydoll). Sunday morning started with me sleeping in late, which was what I had been looking forward to all year. I was so excited because we had family coming up. Mom and I made lunch and then we headed outside. It was such a beautiful day!

Amelia was in heaven because she got to walk Crook.

We managed to get a quick, and I do mean quick, game of kickball in.

A little frisbee....

and a little basketball...

and little sliding!!

Love my babies and loved the day! Even though Maddox was teething and whining more than I could take, it was a perfect day!

Happy Mother's Day!

Just worry about yourself!

The sister/brother "love" is in full effect at our house.  Poor Amelia can't do a single thing without Maddox two steps behind her.  She becomes so frustrated with him that she yells and tries to discipline him herself.  I have  to remind her to come tell me about the problem and to only worry about herself.  Having said that, yesterday morning, I was trying to teach Amelia about good manners.  I had the perfect opportunity because she was eating her cereal like a cow.  It went something like this....."Amelia, let's try to use good manners and chew with your mouth closed."  She replied, "Can't you just worry about yourself?"  This made me stop in my tracks for two reasons.  One. obviously, she has heard me tell her that a thousand times and I thought it was so funny. Two. I thought to myself how crazy it would be to just worry about myself.  I mean, seriously, every breath I take and every decision I make is with that sweet child in mind.  Just worry about myself?  Not a chance.  Don't get me wrong, it would be nice for a day or so but it just seems so absurd.  Everyone told me that when I had children, my life would never be the same so I was prepared for that...so I thought.  I assumed my life would basically consist of less sleep and just alot more love.  I had no idea that every. single. thing. in my life would be different.....the things that make me happy, the things that make me sad, the clothes I wear, the words I say, the foods I eat, the movies I watch, the things I dream about, the things I hope for, etc.  Amelia is only four years old and I worry so much about her.  I can't imagine how much I will worry when she is 10 or 16, for that matter.  So Amelia, I hate to break it to you, but to answer your question..No, I can't just worry about myself  and I'm perfectly fine with that.

And speaking of worry...What am I going to do with this guy?

He is in so much trouble all the time...Here he is "beating" Drew with an empty two liter bottle....

and here...Dumping his cookies on the couch!

He is 17 months old and Im worried those terrible twos are coming quickly. Two kids to worry about...I guess double the worry, double the fun!

I want to live with you forever

Oh Spring!  I have been waiting so long for you!  Tonight Drew got home at five o'clock.  We ate dinner together and then went on a nice walk around the block.  It was such a pleasant night and the kids had a blast.  They collected rocks, sticks, pine cones, and a couple of other questionable treasures.  Usually Amelia runs ahead of us...but not tonight.  She held my hand the entire way.  As we were climbing the big hill toward our house, she looked up at me with those big blue eyes and said, "Mama, I love you."  I knew exactly what she meant.  It was such a perfect night....just our family, walking and enjoying each other.  I looked ahead to see Drew carrying Maddox on his shoulders.  His legs just couldn't go anymore.  We got to the top of the driveway and Amelia stopped for an announcement.  She said, "Mom, when I get older and get married, I'm still going to live here with you and Daddy."  I looked at Drew anxious to see what his response would be.  He said, "Of, course you are."  She was more than satisfied with that answer.

 I remember when I was little I said the exact same thing.  Obviously I moved out and obviously I'm happy but there are days (alot of days, actually) that I wish I could still live with my mama.  So I know there will come a time when Amelia moves out for good.  But it's nice knowing that on one spring day she felt she wanted to live with me forever.

Just A Virus my Butt!!!!

I hate to complain, I really do.  But some things I just can't let go.  I feel it is necessary to vent so that I may move on to a brighter place;)  First let me say this is what Amelia looked like on Thursday....full of life and having a blast with Maddox.

I picked her up Friday from school and she was crying., saying she wanted a dog.  Not that unusual.  I fixed lunch and she refused to eat.  That happens occassionally so I still was not too concerned.  An hour or so later, she asked me if she could take a nap.  Fearing the worst, I felt her head and knew we would be visiting the doctor.  My gut said STREP THROAT!! Of course, this happens on Spring Break...I mean, life is sometimes that cruel.  Drew took her to the doctor on Saturday morning and came home with what we thought was great news.  "It's just a virus."  After much discussion, Drew and I decided to continue with our original plans of the kids and I going to Horse Cave.  Long story short...Amelia continued to get worse.  She stopped eating, stopped drinking, and brace yourself, she stopped talking.  She said her throat hurt so badly that she couldn't even open her mouth and she still had that dreaded fever.  So Tuesday, I took her to the doctor in Horse Cave.  He confirmed that is was strep and a horrible case at that.  He couldn't believe how bad her throat looked and that she had not been put on an antibiotic.

So now, my thoughts on this experience and the lessons I learned......

1.  Always trust that maternal feeling.  I knew it was strep.  I should have told Drew to ask more questions when they first diagnosed her.  Please believe, next time I will.  I really felt like I should have taken her back to the doctor on Monday but I just kept thinking that she would eventually start to feel better.

2.  Medicine needs to not taste like medicine.  Strawberry flavored just ain't cutting it with Amelia.  We need chocolate chip cookie dough up in here!  I dread "medicine time" as much as she does.  It is such a struggle to get her to take it.  We finally started doing a countdown from 5....you know, 5..4..3..2..1. and had mediocre succes with that;)

3.  After seeing Amelia so lifeless for the past 5 days, it really makes me appreciate the running, yelling, flipping, crawling, dancing, singing, and playing that goes on in my house everyday.  Amelia didn't talk for a day and a half.  It was weird, like she wasn't even in the room.  I did NOT like that.  I love that sweet little voice of hers and want to be able to hear it all the time.  I know it was hard for her to rest her throat, too, because she whispered to me tonight, "I have so much to say and I just can't say it."  Breaks your heart, doesn't it.
 
4.  Maddox has been pretty much lost without his big sis.  Now don't get me wrong...  He still found cabinets to open, doors to write on, balls to throw, cups to smash, and toys to play with, but he is just missed playing with her so much.  He would walk over to the couch and  pat on her as if to say, "It will get better, sis.  Hang in there."

Okay, I must admit, I'm feeling better already.  I have been carrying around this guilt since Sunday.  I felt like I should have taken her back to the doctor sooner.  Every time she asks me, "How much longer will I be sick?" I get so sad.  She should already be bouncing off the walls... but then again, it is hard to get over strep when you don't have an antibiotic.

So sweet little girl, Mommy is sorry.  This is not the first apology you have heard from me and I am certain it will not be the last.  Just know that if I could take your place I would.  So get your rest and surely, by tomorrow, you will be on the mend. 

Just a virus, my butt!

Poopy Day

I'm just gonna say it...Today was a "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day."  (Btw, a must read book).  It actually began this way because of a little basketball game last night.  I hardly think it is healthy to get so emotionally invested in the games, but nevertheless, my brothers and I were a wreck last night.  When UK came out in the second half and cut it to 4, we were screaming.  Then, one minute left in the game, Tyler stormed upstairs, Drew went outside, and Matt and I just stared at the television in disbelief.  I felt like somebody punched me in the stomach.  I immediately went to bed and thought for sure I would be over it by morning... but no, not even close.  I actually felt worse.  All the media just reminded me of what might have been.  But a mother doesn't dwell on a UK basketball loss...nope, no time to.  Amelia woke up at 4:00 am with a fever again...and Maddox, well, he was up at 6:00 am.  Sweet, energetic Amelia just wasn't herself today.  She just wanted to sleep on the couch and watch movies.  She refused to eat or drink anything and trying to get medicine down her made me crazy.  Maddox began a dirty diaper marathon at about 7:00 am and at last count, we were at about 11.  The stomach bug has caused him to have painful diaper rash and now he screams bloody murder every time he needs to be changed.  So a UK loss, 2 sick kids, and a very tired momma make for a (excuse the pun) poopy day.